Once Upon a Time, in a State Maybe Far Away...

A yard similar to what I remember.

When the Status Quo is Challenged, I Think of Mr. Rhodes.

I was working on a high school project when I first experienced what my friend's mother referred to as "the party line."

I had picked up the phone and called a friend that could not be there to find out what they had gotten out of the research they had done on The Native American Tribes of Oklahoma (our project). As I spoke with her over the phone I could hear other people talking. Two older women. I hung up and tried again but I got the same result. We could hear one another but we could still hear the older ladies. I asked my friend's mom about it and she said:

"Oh, that's just the old party line. Just go about your business, but be aware that if you can hear them they can hear you."

So we tried our best to continue on over the harping of the older ladies who were wrapped up in bashing another resident of the community. The more I heard the more sad and angry I got.

"Who does he think he is just showing off for the whole town? Plantin' all those flowers!"

"And watering his lawn EVERY SINGLE DAY! Trying to make all us others look bad."

And I knew exactly who they were talking about: Mr. Rhodes.

Mr. Rhodes had lived around and done dealings in town all of his life, although for most of those years he had lived on a farm outside of town. His son had taken over the farm a few years back, and Mr. and Mrs. Rhodes had moved into town to downsize. Not long after they moved Mrs. Rhodes had fallen ill and passed away. That was when Mr. Rhodes had directed his attention fully to his property, which was a nice little house with a decently generous lawn at the south entrance of town, right on the corner of the first cross streets. 

I didn't know the two ladies on the party line, but through all of the time I had to be on the phone I came to know that they were also lifetime residents of the town, they didn't like change (they also had it out for the Library because it was going to be extending/adding on) and one of them was sure she was going to have to take her cat to the vet if it couldn't get the hairball it was working on up and out.

I was happy when we got to hang up. Elated. I was worn out by the negative talk over the party line. On the ride home I began to think.

Town folk where I lived were a thoroughly negative bunch. They hated plenty of things, above all it was taxes, just lower than that was change, and a bit further down the line anything they perceived as trying to make them look bad. I talked to my mom about the party line talk and she sighed, telling me that Mr. Rhodes was always getting hassled about his lawn. Some people had even gone to the city to complain.

Years later Mr. Rhodes again became a major hot topic when a drought began to take hold around the area. Mr. Rhodes had persisted. His lawn and garden remained pristine. Of course this only made things worse, steady complaints actually turned into a neighborhood meeting (meaning the whole town was invited save Mr. Rhodes) to complain and think of ways to "do something about it".

That year someone turned him in to the city for growing okra on his lawn. He told them it was because he enjoyed the flowers. The city responded by upholding an ordinance that relegated fruiting plants to back yard growing. It was a short lived win. Mr. Rhodes stopped growing okra in his front yard, but everything else was a green and gem colored land of splendor within his property borders. 

While Mr. Rhodes actions were rude and crass in the eyes of most town folk, little did he know that his lawn had the admiration of many young folk, including myself, who saw it as a beacon of hope and resilience in a place where the depressing attitude of the town folk was the norm they lived every day. Oddly enough, the day I got accepted into college I remember closing my eyes and thinking of Mr. Rhodes lawn, the beautiful flowers, like an emerald oasis in a harsh dessert (probably because the university grounds reminded me of it as it seemed the only other place alive in the state). The dessert didn't only represent the dead grass of the adjacent lawns, but the bitter negative attitudes of his neighbors.

When some of my high school friends and acquaintances got to house buying age Mr. Rhodes found himself a mentor to the young families trying to beautify their homes. Soon green lawns began to take over in different parts of town. Flowers, whether in the ground or in pots, began to appear. The little town I knew coming up in school was changing, little by little. Nowadays I barely recognize it.

As I age I have come to understand something. Change is hard. Change is sometimes scary. Change can give people an opportunity to either join or resist. You sometimes forget that you were young, starry eyed, and revving to change the world. 

I have also come to realize that when people are negative in a way that is cutting to others, it usually comes from a place of lacking. The feeling that someone else is happy and thriving when you feel that somehow you cannot (whether that be lack of resources or you feel helpless to try to change).

When I look back I think about the older ladies on the party line, cutting Mr. Rhodes down on the phone. Instead of anger I feel some sadness. I wonder if they were widowed and seeing someone taking on such a project made them feel lonely, or wishful that someone might help them.

Maybe others were jealous of the work because it seemed frivolous for him to spend money on water for his lawn and plants when they were barely scraping by. Or that he had so much time on his hands when the rat race was swirling around their heads.

I also wonder "what if".

This comes from a time that I over heard Mr. Rhodes talking to his son at the Co-op. He lived only blocks away and would pop in every now and then when he saw his son's truck parked out front. I sometimes made my way there after school as my mom worked there as a bookkeeper. It was one of those times when I overheard him talking to his son and some of the employees. They asked him why he kept it up, even during the drought. His reply:

"Keeps me active. Gives people something to be upset about. That's just about what some people live for. Your mom's dream was to come live in town in a little house, have a garden that wasn't just for eatin'. She always wanted gladiolas. Never would take out at the farm though, you remember. Learned from some research guy at the university that diggin' them up and storing them over winter improves their chances of comin' back perennial."

Simple interactions, whether a phone call or stopping in to an expert, had helped Mr. Rhodes accomplish his successes in landscaping.

What if:

• People got on board rather than focus so hard on Mr. Rhodes? Your world is what you make it, whether it be a lush garden or a dried out lawn. What if people decided to clean up their lawns? A program like First Impressions might have helped break the ice on the city's situation.

• People decided to do something small? Put out potted plants rather than do the whole lawn. I will tell you one thing, there is nothing more striking in contrast than a pot of flowers against a backdrop of beige grass. Maybe if they knew they could contact Extension to see what types of flowers or plants grew best with little or no water. Maybe that expert that Mr. Rhodes had contacted was a part of the Master Gardeners...or a horticulturist. Spreading knowledge can help people feel empowered, and know who to turn to when issues arise.

• There was a reward system? What if there was a city or community committee charged with creating and maintaining a Yard of the Week/Month? Or an opportunity to send an incentive card, or even a note, to people who they noted were making an effort?

But all of this is in hindsight. I am now a Community Vitality Specialist. I can see these things now, I had no idea then. But deep down somehow I knew I wanted for my small town what I came to understand as a specialist - opportunities...and hope.

And for those that are interested in starting community conversations around the First Impressions of visitors to your community, are looking for resources and knowledge on plant types that grow best here in Kansas, or starting up an effort like Yard of the Month, we have some resources for you!

First Impressions (application included, and many examples of what you can look forward to presentation wise).

Prairie Star Collection (A Collection of Flowers tested by K-State for a Prairie Climate).

Kansas PRIDE Database (to look through to see who else is doing it, and possibly contact them to see how they run it. Be sure to select the Current Year and Yard of the Month on the drop down boxes).

For all of those volunteers out there - THANK YOU for all that you do! - Jaime, jmenon@ksu.edu